Ever feel like taking care of yourself is just another item on your never-ending to do list? An additional responsibility on top of everything you already have to juggle? I get that. But, to truly thrive, it’s essential to fall in love with taking care of yourself.
When you prioritize your own wellbeing, you’ll notice a shift in your life. You can’t pour from an empty cup – by filling yours, you’ll be better equipped to face any challenges that come your way. Taking care of yourself isn’t a luxury, it’s an absolute necessity.
Know Your Value
The first step to fall in love with taking care of yourself is to recognize your own inherent value.
Meet more than just your minimum needs. Take care of yourself first and you will be able to give the world what’s best of you, instead of what’s left of you.
You need to recognize that you are deserving of care, respect, and of love. Not because of anything you achieve, but simply because you are you.
The longest relationship you will ever have in your life is with yourself. How do you want that relationship to be? I’m guessing you want it to be good. But that’s not likely if you treat yourself like crap.
You should treat yourself like you would a friend, but in reality you’re probably way harder on yourself than you would be on anyone else. Allow yourself the same grace you give others. Make a commitment to actually treat yourself like dear friend.
Befriend Yourself
Learning to fall in love with taking care of yourself is at it’s core the practice of self-compassion. Being your own friend is incredibly important to what will probably be the longest relationship of your life.
Personal growth and happiness is incredibly difficult to achieve when you don’t like yourself. Relying on external validation can backfire easily, you have to like yourself first.
Start by listening — really listening — to your needs, desires, and feelings, just as you would a friend in need.
It’s also important to speak more kindly to yourself. Stop being so hard on yourself! Replace that self-criticism with positivity by asking if you would say those things to a friend. If you wouldn’t, don’t say them to yourself.
You should also spend some quality time with yourself. Participate in the activities that bring you joy. Celebrate all of your successes and achievements. Dedicate some of your time to just yourself. When you take care of yourself first, you are better equipped to take care of others too.
Basic Care
Let’s start with the basics, the bare minimum of care you should be providing to yourself.
Sleep
When is the last time you actually slept a full 8 hours in one night? Sleep is incredibly important for your health, yet so many of us are guilty for not making it a priority.
Sleep is not a luxury – it’s essential to your health and wellbeing. Consistently not getting enough sleep can do more than make you lethargic and grumpy. It can also reduce your immune function, slow your reaction times and increase your risk of mental health disorders.
Water
I get it, water is probably one of the most boring of beverages. But water is also essential in flushing the toxins from your body. Becoming dehydrated can lead to more than just feeling thirsty.
Dehydration can contribute to fatigue, headaches and constipation. There are ways that you can add drinking more water to your routine, even if you aren’t a big fan of it.
Sustenance
Much like sleep and water, the food you eat is very important to maintaining your optimal health. In the hustle and bustles of life, meals can be rushed or even skipped altogether. But food has a greater purpose than satisfying your hunger; it provides the nutrients your body needs to function!
A healthy and balanced diet will support your energy levels, brain functions and even emotional health. Remember to think about what you’re putting into your body.
Also take some time to think about the last time you had a big belly laugh, worked out, had a good cry or asked for help when you needed it?
Personalize Self-Care
Self-care can mean so many different things. It’s what recharges you, or resets your energy, and that can be different for each person. Self-care doesn’t just mean having a full spa day, it can be almost anything you enjoy.
Taking care of yourself and treating yourself well doesn’t have to take a ton of time either. As little as 5 minutes is all you need.
If you aren’t sure where to start, I have compiled a list of different examples:
I hope that at least one of these activities resonated with you as something that you either already do, or will start doing, as self-care.
Single Task
Multitasking as a productivity tool is a myth. Each time you switch between two activities, there’s a slight drop in performance. By not giving one task your full focus, you aren’t completing it as well as you could.
When you commit to focusing on only one task at a time, you’re acknowledging your mental limits and optimizing how you spend your energy. It also requires you to make conscious decisions about how you’re spending your time.
When you prioritize tasks and give them your full attention, not only will you get better results but you’ll likely find more joy in the process as well.
Help Future You
Do the little things now that future you will really appreciate. Get into the habit of asking yourself: does this support the life that I’m trying to create? Would your future self thank you for the actions you’re taking today? Doing things that your future self will thank you for is usually the opposite of instant gratification.
It can be easy to get caught up in day to day life, seeking the most convenient route to wherever you’re trying to go. This approach will remind you to pause and reflect on the choices you make. It’s not about denying yourself any pleasure, it’s just about choosing to invest your time wisely.
It’s like flossing. I don’t think most people enjoy flossing, but enjoying it isn’t the point. You floss now, even when you don’t feel like it, so future you will have good dental health.
The you right now can also help out future you in smaller ways, like by washing and cutting your fresh vegetables when you get home, instead of waiting until you want to use them or planning your outfits and packing your lunch the night before so future you won’t have to scramble in the morning.
A meaningful life requires effort and dedication, but it’s an investment that pays dividends in fulfillment, and success.
Avoid Burnout
Burnout is an exhaustion that is emotional, physical and mental. This state is caused by prolonged and excessive stress. The effects of burnout spill into every area of your life. It’s much easier to avoid getting burned out than to get yourself back from it.
Unfortunately millennials (those of us born between 1981 – 1996) have come to be known as the burnout generation. But any of us can get caught up in the pursuit of success and the pressure high expectations.
One of the best ways to avoid burnout is to embrace a lifestyle where you fall in love with taking care of yourself. That means you prioritize your own needs and make choices that support your well-being.
Get outside to breath some fresh air, move your body to generate endorphins, take the scenic route. I know you’re focused on your goals, but don’t forget you need to take a breather sometimes!
Ground Yourself
It can be so easy to get caught up in things that are completely outside of our control. From the ticking clock, to the unending traffic or the fluctuating weather. Grounding yourself is about recognizing what is in your control and choosing to focus on that.
Getting stressed or upset isn’t going to change the things you can’t change. It won’t make traffic go faster, or you arrive sooner. The only thing that accomplishes is that now you’re feeling stressed out.
It might mean taking a deep breath when you’re stuck in traffic instead of letting frustration take over. It could also mean altering your plans on a rainy day instead of just getting angry.
One of the most effective ways to ground yourself is through mindfulness. By practicing mindfulness you can anchor yourself into the present moment, and eventually reduce the impact the uncontrollable has on your emotion state.
Another powerful tool you can use is journaling. Through reflection you can uncover many insights into your experiences.
There are just some things in our lives that are beyond our ability to change. When you ground yourself you are able to choose how to react to what you’re control control.
Feel Gratitude
When we shift our focus from what we lack to appreciating what we have, we cultivate gratitude. Gratitude plays a major role in the journey to fall in love with taking care of yourself. Honestly, it plays a major role in your overall wellbeing.
Incorporating more gratitude into your life can be as simple as quietly reflecting at the end of the day on all of the things you’re thankful for. It can be particularly beneficial to keep a gratitude journal or notebook for yourself, where you can look back on all you have.
Gratitude is a simple practice, but a powerful one. It’s an entire shift of your mindset. Your thoughts play a huge role in shaping your reality – make them good ones. When you practice gratitude, you tend to find more things to be grateful for.
Reset
Sometimes the best thing we can do for ourselves is a complete reset.
For starters, I recommend clearing your mind with a brain dump. It can be almost therapeutic to get your thoughts down on paper. Sometimes in the act of writing we gain more clarity than just thinking.
You can pour out onto the page all of your stresses and concerns and free up some space in your mind for better things.
It’s also important to unplug from your devices once in a while. While it may be incredible how technology has the ability to keep us constantly connected, that doesn’t mean we should be.
Social media specifically encourages the toxic habit of comparison. There is increasing evidence that prolonged use of social media has a negative impact on your mental health.
Even if you don’t do a full on social media detox, take time to just be offline. If that feels boring to you -allow yourself to be bored! Sometimes boredom can bring about answers and ideas that you didn’t even realize you were looking for.
Don’t just stop at your internal environment though, take some time to clean up your physical space as well. Often our physical spaces can reflect our mental spaces and vise-vera.
Chances are if your mind has been cluttered, your space will be as well. You may be surprised at how much your mindset can shift once you’re in a clean and comfortable environment.
note
If you really want to do a reset on your life, be sure to get your ultimate life reset checklist here. Only for those who are serious about getting that fresh start feeling!
Learning to fall in love with taking care of yourself is a personal and ever-evolving process. It’s about making a commitment to truly treat yourself well.
Each of the above steps is a building block for a more fulfilled relationship with yourself. Be sure to start small, celebrate your progress, and know that every step taken towards loving and caring for yourself is a step in the right direction.
So which of these techniques are you going to apply first? I would love to hear your thoughts!
originally posted 1/2021; majorly updated 3/2024
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